In a hurried bid to remove the cancer in my body, I rushed to decide to go under the knife on Friday the 13th. Under the "double set-up" or 'frozen section' procedure, the UST doctors explain they'll take out the 6-cm tumor off my right breast, and while undergoing surgery, the UST Benavides Cancer Institute can do a biopsy right there and then.
If it is malignant, I am giving consent that they remove the whole organ.
If it is benign, they just take out the tumor.
I announce to my immediate family and closest friends what I thought was my courageous decision to get the disease out and done with. I timed it to happen within that incoming weekend, after considering work schedules.
A shower of prayers, biblical passages, positive vibes came forth.
A friend who just had a cervical cyst removed spoke about the healing of Padre Pio.
Another friend who has had to survive a stroke offered masses at Christ The King,
and bought me a jar of herbal supplements.
A close cousin went to pray at Aquinas Healing Chapel. Half-sisters in Cebu sought the intercession of Our Lady of Fatima in Cebu.
My Beloved's only daughter handed a rosary blessed at the Lady of Manaog.
I don't know how to pray for my situation. I wish I could just ask God for a miracle
and make the cancer disappear. Or make it shrink from its 6-cm size so when
I have to go under the knife, the incision doesn't have to be a long slice.
While I put up a brave front, meticulously absorbing details from doctors and reads,
and projecting a cheerful attitude so my beloved, my family and friends keep up with courage, I get to think through at each waking moment, the nagging question of
how did it happen. And why?
Am I forgetting something? Am I being taught humility?
Have I to slow down, from work and stress? And learn to look at the other purposes
for which we are here?